The end screen lists a category of ending and a random epitaph which depends on that category. A number of the epitaphs make more or less blatant references: Links below are mainly to external sites.
Epitaphs by Ending Edit
Quit the game: Sought the Quiet Life Edit
- A dwarf or a rat? History will decide.
- All flight and not profit.
- Bravely ran away in fear. (An oxymoron, and possibly a reference to the Monty Python film Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Many other such references exist)
- Couldn't stand the heat.
- Fame and infamy eluded them.
- If you know this person, please put something interesting here.
- Nobody knows why this gravestone is here.
- Ooh, a clean hanky.
- There are only myths, don't run away.
- This little piggy went 'Wee, Wee, Wee' all the way back to the title screen.
- Was really lame.
- When I were young, dwarves was dwarves not cowards.
Explosion: Went with a Bang Edit
- Chose to paint the walls.
- Marks of an explosion found near body - death remains a mystery.
- Playing with fire is bad.
- Reduced to ash.
- Remember kids: don't try this at home.
- Remember to throw the grenade next time, not the pin.
- Tis only a flesh wound!
- They never read the instructions.
- Must have spontaneously combusted.
Burnt in Lava: Tragically Molten Edit
- Dwarves are as hard as iron...iron melts in lava...QED
- Final words: I'm MEELLTTINGGG.
- Lava is hot.
- Lava melts rock and dwarf alike.
- Run away faster next time.
- That seismograph is there for a reason, you know.
- The light at the end of the tunnel wasn't the way out, then.
- Too close.
- Unfortunately Dwarves are not related to the Tzhaar...
- Who would have thought that lava is bad?
Burnt in Oil (general): Burnt the Brightest Edit
- Burnt to a crisp.
- What a crispy twit!
- Firestarter - miner ender.
- Not even Crazy Arthur is impressed.
- This bodes poorly for the afterlife.
- There will be cinder!
Burnt in Oil (Used jetpack): Flaming Firework Edit
- Before using jetpack, check whether you are covered in flammable substance.
- Covered themselves in oil and then used a jetpack.
- Had no one to blame but themselves.
- Isn't going to do that again.
- Probably did it on purpose.
- They never read the instructions.
- Well, that was spectacular!
- When coated in oil, don't use jetpacks.
Drowned in Water (Ordinary or Cold): Drowned By Greed Edit
- Believed they were a fish.
- Bloated and blue.
- Breathing is good, not breathing is bad.
- Darn water pressure.
- Dwarven lungs aren't designed to breathe water.
- Take an Aqualung next time, and remember to refill it.
- They don't call it mineral water for nothing, you know.
- Wasn't a natural diver.
- Yay! Food for the little fishies.
Drowned in Oil: Black Gold, Crude Death Edit
- Coated in oil.
- Is fuming.
- Greasy and gone.
- Oil of you lay here.
- Seasoned in petroleum.
- Was pumped out in a barrel.
- Will be cremated, at a distance.
- Tanked in oil.
Suffocated in Gas: Croaked Choking Edit
- Dynamite removes gas...
- Gas is bad - very, very bad.
- Gas! Put on the mask! Didn't study Wilfred Owen...
- Green air isn't so great on your lungs.
- Invest in a gas mask.
- Oooh, green stuff.
- The curse of the green glowing rocks strikes again.
- This gas is about as good for you as a sausage in a bun.
Crushed by Falling Rocks: Here Lies CrushedEdit
- A harder hat would have saved a lot of pain.
- Ah, so rocks are heavy.
- Fancy life as a vein of coal?
- Falling boulders mean lots of pain.
- Has a small carbon footprint.
- Headaches are caused by rocks on the brain.
- Kleine Miner
- When you apply great presssure to carbon you get diamonds; when the same is done to miners, you get dead miners.
Eaten by a Myth: Eaten Alive Edit
- A Fatal Encounter of the Third Kind.
- Got mythed.
- Just think of the stories they could have told...if they got away.
- Later miners will loot from this corpse.
- Myth busted.
- Only their boots were recovered.
- So, they aren't myths after all, then.
- What big teeth!
- You are likely to be eaten by a myth.
Eaten by a Walrus: A Maritime MealEdit
- Became fat for the winter.
- Was mauled by a mammal.
- Crushed by a ton of blubber!
- Had a wildlife experience.
- Is part of the circle of life.
- Made lunch.
- The teeth are over a foot long! SURELY that's warning enough?
- Was bullrushed.
- Was pierced by a pinniped.
Frozen in Cold Water: Chilled to the Bone Edit
- Cryogenically frozen.
- Became a popsicle.
- Impersonated a snowman.
- Is as cold as ice!
- One miner on the rocks, coming up!
- 'Snow way to die!
- Was nicely preserved for archaeologists.
- Was touched by Jack Frost.
- Is the coolest person in town.
- Is comfortably numb.
Frozen by an Ice Bomb: Played with Science Edit
- Frozen in time.
- Has freezer burn.
- Ignored the manufacturer's warnings.
- I'm invincible! (Possibly)
- Is a lesson to all those who ignore the instructions page!
- Left to his own devices.
- Used dangerous technology at close proximity.
- When the timer starts, Run!
Eaten by Giant Worm: Munched and Crunched Edit
- Gobbled by a Giant Worm!
- Happy Hallowe'en!
- Fed the Earth.
- Trick and torn to pieces.
Escaped the Volcano: A Miner and a Survivor Edit
Technically these aren't epitaphs.
- A gentleman, too.
- Full of good dwarven traits.
- GOLD GOLD GOLD
- "I like miner disturbance, it has depth" - Mod Korpz
- Made his momma proud.
- Now to spend all this GOLD.
- Stood the test of time, this time.
- The toast of all dwarves.
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