Overview Edit

The end screen lists a category of ending and a random epitaph which depends on that category. A number of the epitaphs make more or less blatant references: Links below are mainly to external sites.

Epitaphs by Ending Edit

Quit the game: Sought the Quiet Life Edit

  • A dwarf or a rat? History will decide.
  • All flight and not profit.
  • Bravely ran away in fear. (An oxymoron, and possibly a reference to the Monty Python film Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Many other such references exist)
  • Couldn't stand the heat.
  • Fame and infamy eluded them.
  • If you know this person, please put something interesting here.
  • Nobody knows why this gravestone is here.
  • Ooh, a clean hanky.
  • There are only myths, don't run away.
  • This little piggy went 'Wee, Wee, Wee' all the way back to the title screen.
  • Was really lame.
  • When I were young, dwarves was dwarves not cowards.

Explosion: Went with a Bang Edit

  • Chose to paint the walls.
  • Marks of an explosion found near body - death remains a mystery.
  • Playing with fire is bad.
  • Reduced to ash.
  • Remember kids: don't try this at home.
  • Remember to throw the grenade next time, not the pin.
  • Tis only a flesh wound!
  • They never read the instructions.
  • Must have spontaneously combusted.

Burnt in Lava: Tragically Molten Edit

  • Burninated
  • Dwarves are as hard as iron...iron melts in lava...QED
  • Final words: I'm MEELLTTINGGG.
  • Lava is hot.
  • Lava melts rock and dwarf alike.
  • Run away faster next time.
  • That seismograph is there for a reason, you know.
  • The light at the end of the tunnel wasn't the way out, then.
  • Too close.
  • Unfortunately Dwarves are not related to the Tzhaar...
  • Who would have thought that lava is bad?

Burnt in Oil (general): Burnt the Brightest Edit

  • Burnt to a crisp.
  • What a crispy twit!
  • Firestarter - miner ender.
  • Not even Crazy Arthur is impressed.
  • Deep-fried.
  • This bodes poorly for the afterlife.
  • There will be cinder!

Burnt in Oil (Used jetpack): Flaming Firework Edit

  • Before using jetpack, check whether you are covered in flammable substance.
  • Covered themselves in oil and then used a jetpack.
  • Had no one to blame but themselves.
  • Isn't going to do that again.
  • Probably did it on purpose.
  • They never read the instructions.
  • Well, that was spectacular!
  • When coated in oil, don't use jetpacks.

Drowned in Water (Ordinary or Cold): Drowned By Greed Edit

  • Believed they were a fish.
  • Bloated and blue.
  • Breathing is good, not breathing is bad.
  • Darn water pressure.
  • Dwarven lungs aren't designed to breathe water.
  • Splosh.
  • Take an Aqualung next time, and remember to refill it.
  • They don't call it mineral water for nothing, you know.
  • Wasn't a natural diver.
  • Yay! Food for the little fishies.

Drowned in Oil: Black Gold, Crude Death Edit

  • Coated in oil.
  • Is fuming.
  • Greasy and gone.
  • Oil of you lay here.
  • Seasoned in petroleum.
  • Was pumped out in a barrel.
  • Will be cremated, at a distance.
  • Tanked in oil.

Suffocated in Gas: Croaked Choking Edit

  • Dynamite removes gas...
  • Gas is bad - very, very bad.
  • Gas! Put on the mask! Didn't study Wilfred Owen...
  • Green air isn't so great on your lungs.
  • Invest in a gas mask.
  • Oooh, green stuff.
  • The curse of the green glowing rocks strikes again.
  • This gas is about as good for you as a sausage in a bun.

Crushed by Falling Rocks: Here Lies CrushedEdit

  • A harder hat would have saved a lot of pain.
  • Ah, so rocks are heavy.
  • Fancy life as a vein of coal?
  • Falling boulders mean lots of pain.
  • Has a small carbon footprint.
  • Headaches are caused by rocks on the brain.
  • Kleine Miner
  • When you apply great presssure to carbon you get diamonds; when the same is done to miners, you get dead miners.

Eaten by a Myth: Eaten Alive Edit

Eaten by a Walrus: A Maritime MealEdit

  • Became fat for the winter.
  • Was mauled by a mammal.
  • Crushed by a ton of blubber!
  • Had a wildlife experience.
  • Is part of the circle of life.
  • Made lunch.
  • The teeth are over a foot long! SURELY that's warning enough?
  • Was bullrushed.
  • Was pierced by a pinniped.

Frozen in Cold Water: Chilled to the Bone Edit

  • Cryogenically frozen.
  • Became a popsicle.
  • Impersonated a snowman.
  • Is as cold as ice!
  • One miner on the rocks, coming up!
  • 'Snow way to die!
  • Was nicely preserved for archaeologists.
  • Was touched by Jack Frost.
  • Is the coolest person in town.
  • Is comfortably numb.

Frozen by an Ice Bomb: Played with Science Edit

  • Frozen in time.
  • Has freezer burn.
  • Ignored the manufacturer's warnings.
  • I'm invincible! (Possibly)
  • Is a lesson to all those who ignore the instructions page!
  • Left to his own devices.
  • Used dangerous technology at close proximity.
  • When the timer starts, Run!

Eaten by Giant Worm: Munched and Crunched Edit

  • Gobbled by a Giant Worm!
  • Boo!
  • Surprise!
  • Happy Hallowe'en!
  • Composted.
  • Fed the Earth.
  • Trick and torn to pieces.

Escaped the Volcano: A Miner and a Survivor Edit

Technically these aren't epitaphs.

  • A gentleman, too.
  • Full of good dwarven traits.
  • "I like miner disturbance, it has depth" - Mod Korpz
  • Made his momma proud.
  • Now to spend all this GOLD.
  • Stood the test of time, this time.
  • The toast of all dwarves.
  • |_| |2 1337

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